Mein Herz
by Taiga Scarlett
Summary: Just something that came to me while listening to a song. If the story continues, the rating may change. I don't own the X-men franchise.


**This takes place after X-men: First Class. Which I'm really glad I don't own because otherwise a lot of things would be different and wonderfully, deliciously queer ;) So this is what would happen if I did own the franchise. It's based on a song called "All about us" by He Is We.**

"Erik," I sigh as I stare out the window. The school grounds are terribly bare without my students here. Most of the staff is off on an 'Erik' mission right now. Raven must have something to do with this. "What are you doing here? And without your much beloved helmet I see. Don't worry, I won't intrude. I have learnt my lesson, thank you very much,"

"Charles, please let me explain-"

"Explain what? Why you abandoned me on that forsaken Cuban Island? Please, do explain. I'm all ears," I hiss back bitterly and glare at the glass pane. I'm suddenly lurched forward as my wheelchair is yanked away from the window and spun around.

" _Schatz_ , look at me-"

"Don't ' _Schatz'_ me, Erik," I glare but refuse to meet his gaze.

"You think I abandoned you on that island on _purpose_? You're wrong, so very wrong. If I had stayed on that island with you, you would have been rounded up with me and we _both_ would have been in prison. Your school is nothing without you. There are students out there who need your help. You can't be any help if you are behind bars! Dammit, _Schatz_! Why are you being so stubborn about this?"

"And what about JFK? Did you do that for my school as well, Erik? I saw that bullet curve, Erik! I was there, for heaven's sake! I felt you-"

"I did not kill JFK, Charles. Come now, look me in the eye. You always pride yourself in reading people, so read me now. Come into my head and see for yourself. JFK was one of us. I was trying to protect him-"

"Well you did a bang up job, Erik. And I would never crawl around in your head again,"

It's quiet for a moment. I resisted the urge to look at him for as long as I can, but I have reached my limit. I glance at him and nearly choke on air. A ball has formed in my throat and I struggle to take a breath.

His face is contorted in pure agony; brilliant blue eyes welled with unshed tears. His bottom lip caught and tortured between his teeth. He huffs through his nose and hangs his head, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes for just a moment.

"Of all the people in this world, I had hoped at least you would have believed me. No, I _needed_ you to believe me…"

It feels as though Wolverine has punched me in the gut, claws and all, for all the misery Erik's words wreak on me.

"W-what are you doing here, Erik?" I whisper.

He lifts his head slowly, gulping slightly. "If I remember correctly, I owe you a dance,"

"Erik- I- Look at me, Erik. I can't" I choke out. I could kick myself for stuttering. Ugh, I cringe internally for that. If only I could kick myself.

"I can help you, _Schatz_. Please, just let me help,"

"How, Erik? How are you going to help me? I will never be able to walk! I wake up from nightmares each morning to see this chair next to my bed, only to realise the nightmares are _real_! Each night I have to bandage up my hands so that the swelling in my palms can go down. That way it doesn't hurt in the mornings. Everyone offers to push me around and I _hate it!_ So, Erik, if you have a solution to this, please explain," I sniffle out. Agh, why am I crying! What is this man doing to me?

Erik moves forward and drops to his knees in front of me. He hesitantly reaches out to me. He glances up, as if asking for permission to touch me and I give a small nod. Erik's hands gently take hold of my wrists, turning them over so that he can see the raw and irritated skin. He lifts my left fingertips to his lips and kisses each one in turn.

"I am so sorry, Charles," he chokes out as his lips gently runs over my palm and he kisses the inside of my wrist. "I will never be able to make this up to you," he murmurs as he starts on the fingertips of my right hand. "I have nightmares too, Charles. The _guilt_ is eating me alive. The only way I thought I could make it marginally better is to see you living a full life even though you are bound to a wheel chair. But the moment I saw your palms, just now, I knew that I will never make this debt equal. I ruined your life and I physically ache with sorrow. I never wanted to hurt you, Charles. Never, ever, in a million years or life times," he kisses my wrist and rests his cheek on my knee. His tears moisten my pants. I see the stains. "You jumping into the water and grabbing on to me was the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the best thing that has happened to me and I very nearly lost you due to my arrogance. My apologies will never be enough," I can see his chest shaking and feel the emotional storm rolling off of him.

Anger, at himself and the world, sadness, depression, anxiety, and fear bubble and seep into my mind and wreaks havoc on my normally composed mental state. I gently pull my hand from his grasp and lay it on his head. I run my fingers through his soft locks as he sobs. I can't stop myself from comforting this man. I can't stop my own bloody tears to save my life. I keep going until the violent storm of emotions raging in my head calms down and Erik is breathing a little more normally. And even then I keep going until he is calm.

He cradles my left hand in his as if it were the most important thing in the world to him. A smile spreads over my cheek as he hiccups.

I lean down carefully and kiss the top of his head. "Better?"

He sighs softly and nods once.

When he lifts his head again, I find his eyes searching mine. "I didn't kill the president, Charles. My life might not be worth much, but I swear on it that I did not kill that man,"

I lift my hand to his cheek and pat it softly. "I know you didn't, Love. Please forgive me, I didn't mean to accuse you,"

I watch the relief of my words wrap around Erik like a warm blanket. His shoulders sag, as if mountains of worries have crumbled. He sighs and a smile spreads over his lips.

"More importantly," I say as I place my hands on both sides of his face and cup his cheeks. "I forgive you, Erik. What happened to me was an accident. I know that you would at no time intentionally hurt me,"

His eyes are searching mine again. I don't know what the man is looking for and I wish I could just peek into his mind to know what he is thinking, but that would be wrong. He blinks rapidly for a few seconds to fight the new tears that are forming and places his calloused hands over mine. His eyes close, as if he is savouring the warmth of my hands on his face.

After a long moment, his eyes snap open and he reluctantly stands up.

"I don't know for how much longer Raven will be able to keep up the façade. Therefore, good sir, would you join me for a dance?" he offers his hand to me and I feel confused. Over his right shoulder I see a record floating through the air and resting itself gently on to the record machine, which turns on instantly though the needle doesn't drop. _He must have metal around the edge of the plate._

I sigh. "Alright, I'll take the bait," I reach out and take his hand. His toothy smile could eclipse the sun.

I yelp in surprise when sheets of metal burst forth from under his sleeves and races across my arm and down my stomach. The sheets split into ribbons the length of my thumb and wraps around my waist. I watch in wonder as the ends seal together seamlessly and conform to my body perfectly. Bands of silver wrap around my hips, upper thighs, above and below my knees and around my ankles. It fits like a second skin. Next, all the rings are joined up by strips of metal that runs from the band around my waist to the bands around my ankles. Two bands run along my inner thighs.

I watch in horrified fascination as my right foot lifts itself off the foot rest of my chair and on to the dark wood floor. My left foot soon follows. I slowly rise from the chair, standing higher than what I have in the past year. "Erik!" I yip in a slight panic.

"I know, _Schatz_. I know you like your independence, but let me do this. Please?"

I stare down at myself. It's strange, not feeling my weight on my feet or on any of my joints actually. It's even stranger taking a step, not subconsciously being in control of what my body is doing. But I know that Erik won't hurt me. I find myself standing before Erik, the few steps he made me take helps me settle into this semi-outer body experience. I lift my head and I cannot bring myself to fight the smile on my face.

"Alright, Love,"

His lips break into a grin and my heart surges. He steps in close to me and wraps one arm around my waist, where he knows I still have feeling. I rest my palm on his shoulder, my elbow bent. He takes my right hand in his and extends it outward and to the side.

In the corner of my eye, I see the needle drop and Waltz Op. 64 No.1 by Chopin fills my study/office/classroom. We wait for the introduction to end and then we are off. We glide through the study and it feels as though I am floating. Erik guides me effortlessly, spinning me out just for fun and I can't help but laugh at his playfulness. At one point he lifts me from the ground as we spin and I giggle madly.

Eventually the song comes to a close and Erik dips me back. I feel breathless even though I didn't actually do anything. Erik is smiling as crazily as I am sure I am. His face suddenly dips close to mine and I feel his thin, soft lips against mine. My face flushes and I kiss him back softly. I try to convey all my feelings through my lips and I fell certain Erik is trying to do the same. We part and he rest his forehead to mine.

"I love you, Charles _Schatz_ Xavier,"

"I love you too, Erik Darling Lehnsherr,"

He grins, but then he frowns. "Your students are coming back,"

I sober up too and sigh. "I know you can't stay, but if you could, would you?"

"Of course I would, Schatz. You know I would,"

He straightens up slowly and scoops me up, his one arm wrapped around my shoulders and his other arm hooked behind my knees. I wrap my arms around him as he carries me the short distance to my wheelchair, his metal ribbons unwrapping themselves from around me as we go. He sets me down gently as the needle of the record machine lifts up and slides to the furthest point on its axes only to drop down and start playing again. I arrange myself in my chair and he plants kiss on the top of my head.

I hum softly and he runs his fingers through my hair.

"I will come see you again, I promise," his whisper is barely heard over the music.

I swallow with some difficulty, trying to find my voice but just end up nodding instead. We hold hands in silences for a short while. I can already feel Jean reaching out to me with her mind. They are still some way off, but not for long. I blink my eyes repeatedly.

"Go, Erik,"

He nods, releases my hand and walks over to the chess board that still has our last game on it. It is unfinished. He moves his rook to take my bishop before leaving through an open window.

I try to compose myself, when the others get here it can't look like I've been crying. I tilt my head back, stare at the ceiling and blink rapidly. That seems to do the trick and I tilt my head back to its original position. A glimmer of silver catches my eye and I look down to find a thin chain on my thigh. I pick it up and hold it to the light. Attached to the long chain is modest silver band.

My heart leaps into my throat when I spot writing. I take the ring and examine the inside.

 _Mein Herz_

I smile and slip the chain over my neck, deep down knowing that Erik can feel the ring resting against my heart.

This is not a proposal. That would be inappropriate and many will find it unacceptable. We don't want to fight the status quo any more than we need to, we just want peace. No, this is not a proposal.

It's a promise.

A promise that he will come back to me, no matter how long it takes. No matter where we meet in the end, no matter if we have to wait seventy years just to dance again.

Because I will see him again.

But until then I will be content with our private ball and our never ending game of chess.

O . o . O . o . O

 **A/N**

Mein herz = my heart. (Curtesy of google translate)  
Schatz = treasure or precious.  
 **This may/may not turn into a series.  
If you want more, then please, by all means leave a comment or pop me a PM.  
And if you spot any mistakes, kindly point them out ;D **

**#ThankYouBestieForConstructiveCriticism**


End file.
